The Texas Rangers

Nolan Ryan. He is part-owner of the baseball team these days. Good for him.

No, not those Rangers.

These Rangers.

The Texas Rangers are, simply put, the baddest, rootin'-est, tootin'-est, cops on the planet. Their tradition grew out of the Old West, and they are still urged to wear "western clothing," which basically means cowboy boots, a big ol' hat, and a shiny belt buckle.

They catch the bad guys. They protect the governor of Texas. They stop riots. And in times past they were Indian fighters and twice saddled up and went off to fight for their country as soldiers (which country depends on what nation Texas aligned itself with at the time).

Founded by Stephen Austin in 1823, they fought the Cherokee and Comanche tribes off and on until 1846 when Texas entered the United States by treaty and war erupted with Mexico.

They scared the crap out of the Mexicans (and other Americans), then went back to fighting Indians until the War of Northern Aggression (or as you Yankees know it, "The Civil War"). This time the Rangers fought against the United States. This time they lost. Not because they are wussies or anything, but probably because the other side cheated or something.

Before the current civilized era, the Rangers were known to engage in recreational torture and summary executions of the bad guys. During one of Mexico's revolutions, the Rangers were called out to protect the border. They were ruthless and pretty much ran wild, killing soldiers, innocent families and anyone they felt like on both sides of the border from 1910-1919.

The Rangers got involved in politics in the 1930's, supporting the serving governor, who lost the election. In turn, the flush-with-success newly-Governor Ma Ferguson fired every Ranger on the payroll.

Aside from corrupting politics, fighting wars, and killing innocent people, the Rangers are also pretty good at catching the bad guys. "The Meanest Man Alive," John Wesley Hardin, was arrested by the Rangers in 1874. Bonnie and Clyde were killed by a posse led by former Ranger Frank Hamer in 1934.

The "Meanest Man Alive." He is actually dead. Has been since 1896.

Their best bust? After an law enforcement investigation including a Texas Ranger, my grandfather was arrested in 1998 for buying stolen property. The fact that Granddad was mostly deaf and didn't understand what the thief was saying to him was blissfully ignored by the Ranger and other investigating officers.

The Rangers are so awesome (or at least iconic) that they spawned a truly horrible TV show starring one of the most horrible actors of all time.

Do you think Chuck reads my blog?

So there you go. Reason Number 5. The Texas Rangers. They are such an important part of Texas that state law reads, "The division relating to the Texas Rangers may not be abolished."

They don't have a spotless history, but who does? Some of the old-time Rangers were thugs with authority, but others were selfless heroes. They protected their homes, and took whatever measures they thought were necessary. Looking back we may cringe at some of their methods, but, heck, I cringe at some of the things in my own sordid past. The important thing is that they are a legendary aspect of Texas history, and by studying them we learn about the time period in which they earned their legend.